So, it’s Valentine’s Day and you have no significant other to spend it with this year. Your co-workers are receiving deliveries of flowers and edible arrangements from loved ones while you anticipate the 70% off sale on candy tomorrow. Scrolling down your timeline may even trigger a lot of emotion as you thumb through paragraphs of love stories and view pictures of all the couples on your friend’s list. Cue the violins and pass the ice cream girl. I feel you. I really do. Just know that your relationship status is never complicated with God.

Bible and picture frame

I know that navigating through this day may have been pretty difficult for those of you who may not have someone to celebrate with, but why do we feel the need to be in a relationship in order to feel loved? Your happiness and well being should never depend on whether or not you receive flowers and candy one day a year. If that’s the case, we’re all doing something wrong here. It’s the heart’s desire to feel all the “feels” on this day, but we have a greater love in our creator. With God, you’ll never have to question your purpose in the relationship. It’s already been written. You won’t ever feel like a side piece or even a snack. Girl, we are full course meals around here!

Because of a lack of self-worth and the pressures of social media, we can easily find ourselves in situations that may be compromising in order to feel an ounce of love or what we think love might feel like. With God, you’ll never have to question your actions or see yourself in a compromising situation to receive what He has for you. He loves every inch of you exactly where you are right now in this moment. Now that’s love sis…pure, unadulterated, love. I’m sorry to tell you, but this is the kind of love that you can’t find in a man.

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

-1 John 4:10

I need you to know that you are loved and will always be loved by God. He loved you first. His love is everlasting no matter your relationship status. His love is never complicated. Your status with God will never change. Your place in His heart will always be reserved. It’s worth so much more than any reservation you could ever make one day a year. You are a daughter of the king and nothing less. 

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”1 John 4:16

Rest in believing in these words and know that one day will not remove the lifetime investment of your heart in God’s hands. One day can never define your value to yourself or others. One day will not determine your worth. You are loved. You are enough. You are whole just as you are. No one else can complete you. God already did that when you broke the mold.

Happy Valentine’s day my friend.

xoxo

girl holding flowers

This year is coming to a QUICK close and I can definitely say that I’ve done a lot of evolving. There have been many lessons learned as God continues to mold me into the woman He’s called me to be. In order to get this far in my personal growth, I’ve had the help of my therapist, doing self-work, a bomb support system, and my unwavering faith. I’ve learned to let go of the things AND people that did not serve me well in order to live a more fulfilling life. So, I’m sharing the 5 things I’m ditching in 2020 in hopes that they benefit you as well. Let it go, girl…LET…IT…GO!

Woman shaking her head
Via GIPHY

1. Worrying about what other people think of me

I use to get so caught up in what others thought of me that I would try to hide away and pretend like I was invisible to make it go away. I felt like their thoughts were written all over my face like graffiti. Obviously that didn’t work out too well. I wasn’t blessed with invisibility. Worrying about what others think has held me back in so many areas of my life in the past that I’m not willing to forfeit now. I realized that I was the only one losing sleep over a comment that didn’t affirm me.

When it comes to how others view me right now, I DON’T CARE! I should have dropped this mindset a long time ago. For the longest, I actually believed that what others thought of me was my business. Well, it’s not. It’s honestly a personal problem that I’ve learned not to lose any sleep over.

If a person has nothing to do with my well being, i.e. pays my bills or plays an important role in my life, then what they perceive of me is really not my problem. The enemy is the author of confusion. When we focus on the negative opinions of others, we can easily get confused and lose focus on more important things. So put your blinders on and keep moving. There’s nothing to see over there.

2. Thinking everyone is my friend

Over the years, I’ve learned that some of the people I thought were friends weren’t really my friends at all. They had a different agenda. They took my kindness and times of vulnerability for weakness and did some pretty awful things. Sometimes people desire to get close to you for their own personal gain, whatever that may look like. The light that you omit can also illuminate the paths of others, but it’ll only take them so far. Watch who you call a friend. Pray that God gives you the discernment necessary to vet the people you surround yourself with and guard your heart.

Erin standing in front a tree
Save this for later!

3. Doubting how dope I really am

It took a loooooong time for me to recognize just how dope I really am. I mean, hello! I’m a daughter of the most high. I am God’s workmanship. I was created in His image alone. It still amazes me how God knew everything about me before I was even formed in my mother’s womb. I mean down to each breath I would take and the number of hairs on my head. Sometimes I have to do a double-take when I pass the mirror and affirm just how great of a creation I am.

This, of course, didn’t happen overnight. It took a lot of looking in the mirror and searching within myself to gain this kind of confidence. It also took me searching scripture to realize how much care and detail it required to build me into who I am.

By comparing myself to others, I doubted my own level of dopeness. I forgot who I was and whose I was really quick. It took for me to look back at all God brought me through and allowed me to accomplish to really see how amazing I truly am. I stopped doubting myself and started walking with confidence in everything I did. If I fail, at least I can say I failed trying. God created everyone with a purpose. It would be foolish of us to compare our purpose and personal journey with anyone else.

I know exactly what God thinks of me and I’m doing Him a disservice if I think any less of myself. So, no, I won’t be doubting my own dopeness anymore.

The word Breathe in lights

4. Allowing things I can’t control to stress me out

Life is way too short to allow the things of the world to stress me out. Whether it’s on the job, my finances. or even my children, I’m not going to let ANYTHING or ANYONE add stress to my life. Since I’ve hit dirty 30 this year, I’m feeling all of my stress and anxiety in my body. I need to be able to function properly in order to be able to serve others and myself. I’ve learned that I don’t hold the answer to every problem. If I can’t solve it, I can’t do much about it. So in 2020, I’m dusting my shoulders off and preserving the joy that I have. I have too much to accomplish to be stressing in these streets.

5. Not setting boundaries with toxic people

Setting boundaries with the toxic people in my life was truly necessary. In the past, I continued to allow people near me that were clearly toxic because they may have been family or just a long-time friend. I worried more about not hurting someone’s feelings than preserving my own mental and emotional health. Yea, I’m not doing that anymore. Some relationships just can’t be healed. You’ve got to stop beating that childhood trauma or past argument like a dead horse and move forward. Protect your peace at all costs. If you don’t respect your own boundaries, no one else will. A person’s title in your life (mom, sister, cousin) does not make them entitled to cause you distress in your life. I set up boundaries with people I’ve never thought I would and honestly it feels amazing to know that I have control over my mental and emotional well being.

Besides drinking plenty of water and minding my own business, ditching these 5 things this year has left me with clear skin and a clear mind. I hope they were helpful to you. Let me know what you’re ditching in 2020 to better yourself in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works”

-Psalms 145:8-9

A lot of us live our lives ashamed of ourselves and ashamed to seek God’s face in times of despair or while living in our sin.  We feel that if we don’t have a spot free past that He will forsake us. We feel that if we are living in sin that He will turn His back toward us.  Even when Eve committed the very first sin, God still loved her in the midst of her shame and guilt. Contrary to popular belief, God does not hold on to our shortcomings against us in fierce anger.  When we continuously think this way, it leaves ample time for the devil to make his way into our lives and cause so much confusion. We slowly distance ourselves away from the will of God and find it harder to find our way back on the right path in fear of being a disappointment to others and especially God.  It’s similar to a child in fear of disappointing their parent and keeping distance from them when they’ve done wrong.

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:

Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.

-Jeremiah 31:3

God’s love is eternal and everlasting despite our flaws.  I know it may be difficult to believe because of human interaction.  When we disappoint our friends and loved ones, we find that they may not forgive so easily or take us back with open arms.  God is not of this world. He created us and knows everything we are doing and will do. He created the blueprint for the plans He has in our lives.  We are always welcome back in His arms despite our flaws, mishaps, sins, or just bad decisions in general.

I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications.  Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

-Psalms 116: 1-2

Call out to the Lord in times of need.  When you feel alone, depressed, or stressed, He is the listening ear that will always be available.  God will always have the solutions to your problems and will guide you and keep you. He is a forgiving God. He will guide you back on the path you were meant to follow and never lead you astray.


What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?”

-Romans 8:31